See this the type of shit I love! Yall can go to Fearless for all the stats and trades and "Who's Gonna's". But I'm here for the messiness! Just like Lebron and Rihanna's secret love child, we got another baller out 'chea getting celebrities preggers! And pornstars nonetheless. ZIOOOOON! My negro. What are we doin' and who is we screwin'?! I couldn't believe this, I didn't know Zion had that kinda game. Dude looks like an adult, child human version of a black child anime character. And somehow he built like Lawrence Taylor. Now that's neither here nor there, but here we are talking about the many pregnancies of Zion Williamson. Now I may be hatin', or maybe I'm just really upset that I thought this kid could be the Jordan that New Orleans basketball needed. After the dissolution of Master P's the "New Orleans Make 'Em Say Uhh"s, and the team name change to the Pelicans :( all hope had been lost. Then there was this one guy, THE GUY to help rescue Nawlin's bball from mass level corniness. Bad thing is, he's just corny enough to fit on the team himself. And not for the dating and incessant smashing of a pornstar, that's actually pretty damn nice. But about Zion not keeping his life in order (if at all possible as a celebrity), in a time when everyone is losing faith in him and his abilities. Let's not get Ben Simmons'd.
First, to not compromise my journalistic integrity, I had to do a little research. If I'm going to do a story of this magnitude, I have to study every minute detail. So I googled Moriah Mills. And after texting my producer and letting him know that this article is going to be released a little more than a day later than usually scheduled, I realized that these dudes be getting mad lucky, son! Fred Flintstone, Carl Winslow, Joel Embiid, none of these dudes would have the wife they have if they didn't have an extra something. Well, lemme kinda take that back a little, because Fred and Carl's wives did truly love them. That's it...you can continue on reading. Now, Moriah was talking about all the freaky, nasty, disgusting things she let Zion do just recently, and not once did he tell her he was with child and engaged. And have you seen Zion's gf? This is like Jay-Z cheating on Beyonce. Negros go sit yo asses down! She already gotta look at you and pretend to love you flaws and all, but fellas, you pushing it! And to make it even worse, their first child is a girl, which according to grandma-tales that means he was hoe-ing in deez streets.
You know how I know that all of this is true? Cause Moriah Mills even brought up the fact of how she nursed him back to health, not just physically, but mentally. Moriah said she would always try to boost his self-esteem, tell him how great he is, how he's next Lebron and when he gets healthy again, that he's gonna be the greatest. That's true because that's what black women that love you do. She was/is in mad, deep, stupid love with this man, and I'm more than sure Zion is peacing her out solely because her choice of career. And now because of all this social media balderdash, it brings us to question, have his injuries been exaggerated? I mean, if he can smash, he can ball, right? Are the injuries real? Or are they as fake as Lauryn Hill actually writing "To Zion", or any other song on the "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" for that matter? Don't turn your face up like that, Google it! And google Moriah Mills, too. For ya know..."research".
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